My nightstand always has on it more books than I can read at once, documents that should have been filed long before, and whatever trinkets found their way into my pockets during the day. Every once in a while my wife draws my attention to the deteriorating state of my nightstand. And every time she does, my reaction is always the same: "it's fine! It's not that messy."
It's not fine.
The ability to make the right decisions starts with telling the truth. And telling the truth starts with telling the truth to yourself.
You're not spontaneous, you need to learn impulse control. You're not overloaded, you have bad time management habits. He's not over-sensitive, you were insensitive.
Dig past the false explanations.