Remembering to think big

Yesterday my uncle Amine Adib passed away.

I could never figure out who he was. Some people knew him as a journalist, others as a businessman. But everyone saw him as a larger than life figure.

I knew him as the uncle who always insisted on knowing how I was doing at work, and who would always demand that I dream bigger.

I saw my uncle whenever we would visit Tripoli, often during Eid holidays and sometimes when my dad felt like taking us there. During those visit he would call on me to sit next to him and he would proceed to ask about every detail of my work. Who was I working with now? What projects was I working on? What impact was I making?

And inevitably he would get to one question that he cared about the most: “how much are they paying you?”

My uncle did not ask that quesiton apologetically, acknowledging that it was personal and none of his business.

On the contrary, it was his primary business. And the force with which he asked it made me feel that I better live up to his expectations.

The first time he asked, I had just started working out of university. I knew that the $420 a month I was making was not going to satisfy him, so I tried to avoid answering and explained that I was getting important experience working for this company that was going to set me up for success later on.

“How much!?”

Sheepishly, I answered.

“That’s ridiculous! You go see the managing partner immediately and demand he pay you $5,000 or you will quit!”

At the time $5,000 was close to what a partner at the firm was making, so I knew that had I made that demand I would end up unemployed. But I was unable to get my uncle’s advice out of my head.

This continued year after year until, one day, I was making more than $5,000. I always looked forward to visiting my uncle, but this time I was especially excited about when he would ask about my salary.

With a big smile, I shared the news.

“You should be making a lot more than $5,000! As soon as you go back, walk in and ask for $20,000!”

Two lessons I learned from my uncle that have guided me throughout my life:

First, only you decide how much you’re worth. The number obviously depends on your experience and skills, but to a large extent it’s also arbitrary. There are people with a similar set of skills making a wide range of incomes.

Second, think big, and always bigger than you’re comfortable with. Aiming higher forces you to learn and grow and challenge yourself.

Thank you my dear uncle. May you rest in peace.